Tis the season to unleash all hell on thottbot and other forums.  It's a joyous time of year when all the snarling dragons and ogres emerge from their caves and dens to scream at the top of their lungs "I'm as mad as hell and I can't take this anymore!"

The skies are overcast over the small village of Tobttoht.  The women and children skurry to their dwellings to hopefully survive the incoming storm.  The men, brave and strong, stand defiantly in front of their homes awaiting the impending flames. 

One flame from a dragon high in the sky rains down whistling "This is bull&^%$!" as it crashes to the ground.  Iar Umasgn Esnig, the village chief, assures them that "We will withstand this attack!  It will be brief and they are no match for our endurance and intelligence!"

Odi Hsubj, a village elder, both wise and handsome and loved by the masses, seconds Esnig and proceeds to take the dragons head on.  "For Tobttoht!!!" he cries as he mounts his Time-Wasted drake and ascends the skies.

"No, don't go" the village cries, but Odi Hsubj cannot hear them now because he is too far gone.

Meanwhile...

...The patience of Shard Unaim is waning.  He feels as though he can literally see his life slipping away before his eyes.

But he is ready for the challenge.  Weeks of preperation and anticipation have lead him to this point, and he is not about to turn back at the moment of glory.

Shard wanders on, unsure of when the storm and fear will subside, but certain that they will.  He knows he will need the help of Odi Hsubj and Esnig, the village chief if Tobttoht is to be spared from the wrath of the upcoming storm of pain and discontent.

"Not since the plague that occured last autumn has Tobttoht been in for such a dismal time."  Shard ponders aloud.  "We will need to fortify and summon strength to perservere."

Alas, he spots Tobttoht in the valley below.  It seems in one piece, for now.  Shard hurries on and can only pray he is in time to help...

lmao

please continue literary masters...

Aside the extra fun of explaining why one is snickering mindlessly almost crying with laughter at work... my gosh.. sheer fun..

lots of kudos

/waves at Iar Umasgn Esnig, the village chief... Odi Hsubj, a village elder and Shard Unaim

i almost laughed out loud when i read those names, but i managed to keep away a burst of laughter..

The dragon flamers had aligned on the opposite side of the valley.  They were preparing their arsenal, setting up typo turrets while their foot soldiers advanced to the front lines.  Shard couldn't make out what the creatures were, until someone cried out "They're sending in trolls!"

The trolls charged down the slope towards to small village of Tobttoht below, their cries could just be heard; "lolooolllol!11", "hai u di roflmao", "can i hav 5g plz!!".  The sound was sickening.  Shard could barely stand the sight of the awful creatures, a look of dismay on his face.  An ally came along side him, it was Reggoh, a warrior from his guild.  "Have faith, friend. Their attack cannot breach our defences.  We must show strength and not crumble under their attack of spam and verbal slurry". Just then, General Zoc stepped forth shouting "Soldiers prepare to charge!". 

The soldiers ran down to intercept the trolls, led by Zoc.  Zoc was a great leader who had often helped in the fight against the dragon flamers.  Some referred to Zoc as "257" for he allegedly once destroyed 257 trolls and flamers in single combat before he had to stop and take a rest.  Reggoh didn't know if this story was exaggerated, but he was sure glad Zoc was on Tobttoht's side!

The two sides clashed at the base of the valley, not far from Tobttoht's main gate.  "Don't let them breach the gate!" Zoc exclaimed. A nearby group of soldiers rushed to make a defensive line in front of the gate, raising their anti-spam shields. 

The trolls attacked with no pattern or order.  Their disarray was often seen as their greatest strength for no one could interpret their actions making it hard to defend against.  Tobttoht's soldiers however were no rookies when it came to troll slaying. The soldiers quickly took out the front trolls, slashing and stabbing with their fierce weapons, while magical casters at the rear sent out grammatically correct spells at the trolls, this brand of magic proving very effective.  The trolls also had casters, however their misspells these cast were easily deflected on the soldiers shields. 

As victory seemed imminent for Tobttoht's force, the dragon flamers above roared with outrage at their loss.  They moved towards the typo turrets preparing to fire.  "Brace yourselves!" Zoc shouted, as a volley of typo blasts came down at the soldiers.  The huge blast waves shaking the ground around them, making craters where they hit.  Some unfortunate soldiers took the blasts straight on, causing them to be vaporised instantly, while the explosions sent out awful sounds; "pwned u hahaha!1", "w00t u got deaded l0l". 

Even the soldier's shields couldn't repel fire power of that magnitude.  There was nothing else for it, Zoc had to order the retreat, "Run away!, Run Away!!" Zoc yelled to the soldiers as they fled from the massacre.

Just then a huge shadow came over the valley blocking out all light.  Zoc glanced backwards to see what caused the light to go, and almost fell to the ground when he realised what it was.  ".. A wall of text ... no .. no! .. Those monsters!".

The wall of text loomed threateningly over the soldiers, ready to crush them at any moment, when suddenly ...

... a shining entity appears out of nowhere.

Behold Gnesnig, the oriental warrior, brandishing his epic [Kokanee].

"Avast, you dawg!" He exclaims.
"Thou shall not prevail!", he continues in a rather confusing change of literary styles.

"I am the Moder-at-Ohr, the Hidden Admin, He-Who-Must-Be-Listened-To.
/Facepalm me at your peril.
For I will erase all traces of Coin-Retailing or Non-Public-Servitors promoting."

And with a swift [Ban Troll] (Rank 15), the wall'o'text monster disintegrates into its constituent parts.
And letters lay scattered, no longer in the order intended.

Peace restored once more, the mighty demi-god disappears yet again with a fearful warning lingering in the air:
"I see you!".

XD XD marvelous :D

all this thread now needs a

does anybody know if the dance-off pvp combat was an spril fools joke?

i think the best thing about the new patch is the dual spec.
sure its expensive but its worth it...im a druid and i can now switch between being a healer and a tank

also i have a dk  i can switch between blood and frost

dance off was obviously a april fools, reread the page  :D
there are small hints .. such as ..look at half the items you could win, and realise how ridiculous they sound. etcetc

not to mention it's ridiculous and posted on april 1

realms down 2nd Tuesday in a row for almost all day current time 11.15 eastern 55 weeks in a year we should get a moth refund

Huh?
Your year seems to have extra weeks to mine...and why would you want your moth refunded? That's just crazy currency;P Has the dollar gotten so bad that you have to barter with small flying insects now...

      OK,I'm tiered of all the flamers about realms being down.... look at all the bugs patch 3.1 brought to us they need to fix the bugs because right now sarth with drakes is nearly impossible.

      Although I agree that it's annoying but they should have them up by 11 pst so you need to add 3 hrs onto 11 for eastern and viola realms should come up at 2:00 est.

      One last thing is that why should we get a month refund if only 2 days are down.

Lol, I just wanted to add this to this thread.

:)

yeh ..more stories of our favorite demi-gods please ;)

Out of no-where, in the dark stormy sky...the sky was suddenly shining, with such a bright light that no one could see...

Angels sang out an immaculate chorus, down from the heavens descended Shidobuj, who delivered a kick which could shatter trolls, accidentally into the crotch of Zoc, who fell over on the ground, writhing in pain...

add to it!

Ummmmm wow. That's kinda weird.

Odihsubj was almost fatally injured in the great battle.  Fearing shame from the other elders, he hurried away to a the nearby growing village of Koobecaf.  He found that he could get lost in the sea of faces.  Each day he hoped he would not be recognized, and each day he grew stronger. 

His fights now weren't with trolls and fire-breathing dragons, but with himself.  Could he be a warrior again?  Could he earn the respect of the Tobttoht community once again and valiantly fight for them one more time? 

These questions and many more were nearly overwhelming.  How could he just leave them there on that fateful day?  How could he just walk away?

So, with his head held high and his strength continuing to grow, he began his trek back to Tobtthot. 

...To find that the town was obliterated.  They could not withstand the onslaught of trolls and spammers.  Enraged, he looked towards the mountains that the trolls lived in.  Adrenaline coursing through him, he made his way to the mountains...